Lisbon, Portugal
Lisbon, Portugal! First of all, Portugal is one hour earlier than Spain because for some reason, it is on UK time. Also, Portuguese is more unlike Spanish than I had suspected. For example, “thank you” is “obrigada”, which in no way resembles “gracias.” (And if you’re a man, “obrigado”.) I also saw a sign with “chocolate” spelled with an X instead of the “ch”. (?!?!?!)
The first thing I noted when I landed at the train station was that I had to pay to use the bathroom. (I would soon learn that outside of Spain, this is actually the norm. Carry change.)
The area around the train station is a little sketchy, and at first I thought I had made a Bad Mistake. Everything seemed dirty and trashy, with lots of graffiti and bums, some of which were sleeping in actual broken cardboard boxes.
However, as I kept walking, the neighborhoods kept improving. The walk was very pretty, with the river/port to my left and the city to my right. I passed a US Coast Guard pirate ship thing – no idea what that was about.
The woman on the train had told me to never start out speaking Spanish to the Portuguese. She said that they have some sort of inferiority complex with the Spaniards and if they meet someone from Spain, they will assume that person is going to snub them or insult them, so the Portuguese are likely to put on their attitude first, kind of as a defense mechanism.
So, she said to first ask if they speak English, and when they say no, *then* ask about Spanish. So, that’s what I did, and everywhere I went I spoke Spanish – but as the “second choice”.
So I’m in the center of town, which is a square with the river to one side and a statue in the center. It’s called the Praça do Comércio, “praça” being Portuguese for “plaza”. (Very frequently “r” was where I expected “l” and “ç” where I expected “z”. “Ç” is not even a letter in Spanish.)
I go to get on the trolley and the lady says “two”, which I took to mean two Euros so I forked over a 5, and she just gave me some loose change in return. Apparently, she was asking if I were paying for two *people*, and by smiling and nodding, I inadvertently bought the way of the guy behind me. So, if you don’t speak the language, don’t smile. Or nod. Very expensive habit.
The trolley was a crazy trolley (much like the crazy taxi, if you’re familiar with arcade games) and if I hadn’t held on with both hands, I wouldn’t still be here now. (Why don’t we have opposable toes?)
The first thing I did (once I got off the trolley and kissed the ground beneath my feet) was to visit the Monasterio de Geronimo. It happened to be free on Sunday, which was cool, and it was the 500th anniversary, which was even cooler. Apparently, people were allowed to touch all over everything and use flash photography, neither of which I felt was cool, so I abstained from both, keeping my hands and flashbulbs to myself.
I loved how gothic it was – it was the most gothicky monastery I’d ever been in, and it is awesome. (Not that I’d been in any monasteries prior to this trip – the most goth you’ll find in the US is Marilyn Manson.)
Next, I ate at the Pastéis de Belém. Mmm. I don’t know why I’m not still there, getting fatter and fatter. Run, don’t walk, to the nearest airport, fly to Lisbon, go to the original 1800’s blue-tiled Pastéis de Belém restaurant, order yourself a cappuccino and as many pastéis as the table can hold. This is now officially my favorite food in, I think, the world, and I am discovering it across the freaking globe. (Can I open a Tampa franchise??) I started with two and when the people next to me at their first and asked for a carryout box, I just ordered some more. (As my pal Ashley would say, “Get it in me!”)
The café Pastéis de Belém looks small, but don’t be fooled. It is secretly massive, and has lots of rooms that you go through one to get to another, so you’re never really sure how many there are.
Random people keep thinking I’m speaking Portuguese when I’m forced to mumble some Portspañol. I’m doing a lot of vague smiling, then wandering away when it seems opportune.
I went into the Coach Museum (or carriages, depending on how you look at it), which was celebrating its 100th year. It was wild to see all the golden, ornate coaches and imagine being carted about town secreted inside one. On my way out of the museum, I passed a vending machine – a KitKat machine! Be still my heart! Nothing but varieties of Kit Kat bars! Who knew there *were* varieties of Kit Kat bars?!
I ducked into a gift shop to scope out the shot glass selection for my collection, and on the counter I see this very sketchy iced-tea jug with something other than iced tea inside. It has a hand-made sign taped to it: “Ginja. Com chocolate: 1€”. Thanks to the book I borrowed from Danielle, I knew that ginja was (quoting here) “Portuguese firewater”. I had no idea about the chocolate, but hey, you only live once, right? So I slid my euro across the counter and the lady pours me a shot of ginja into a chocolate cup. And when I say chocolate cup, I mean a teacup – with handle and all – made completely of chocolate! It was an alcochocoholic’s *dream*. (And yes, before I went back to Madrid, I had another one. How could I not?)
The next place I went to was the Porto de Lisboa, which had a fabulous view of the boats and the bridge. Next, I went to the Monumento des Descobertas, or Discoveries monument, where my English/Spanish ploy completely fell apart. No English, no Spanish, no French – she spoke German. I managed to stumble through a “Would you please take my photo here?” in my broken German, which punctured my self-confidence a bit and I stopped talking for a while. (German?? I should have studied more!)
An interesting quick about Lisbon is that the roadside vendors have all the indulgences – everything from ice cream to hard liquor. (I didn’t have either one, because as you’ll recall I was quite stuffed with pasteis and ginja at this point.) I saw a lot of free public roadside parking, although I also saw a guy running a hustle where he flagged cars into (free) open spots for tips/money.
Next, I went to the tower of Belém, which was very cool. It had a dungeon with bars, and barred “windows” in the ground floor above which I imagine you could drop in prisoners or food or snakes or whatever to the dungeon below. I climbed the skinny, winding staircase to the top of the tower and was rewarded with an awesome panorama of Lisbon.
I saw the giant cross on the hill known as the Cristo Rei (I assume “Christ the King”) and I learned that Portugal is roughly the size of Indiana.
I walked through the Museu de Marinha (Maritime Museum) which had every manner of model ship and maritime relic, and was therefore probably a much more complete museum than really necessary for my taste. (That’ll teach me to go into Maritime museums. Everything’s all maritime-y.)
Next I hoofed it 4 miles to El Corte Ingles, forgetting it would be closed because it was Sunday. I’m glad I walked it, though, because I passed all sorts of cool views, and a street filled with vendors and sidewalk artists. The Corte had an open movie theater, so I flashed my student ID and got to see War of the Worlds on the cheap. Before the movie (which was in English) there was a preview for the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, which was in Portuguese, so I didn’t understand a single word. I’ll be glad to see that one back home.
After the movie, I caught a taxi back to the Santa Apolonia railway station. Europe is big on roundabouts – most are two to four lanes wide. If you’re not a roundabout fan, don’t rent a car – take the metro or a taxi.
